I believe in looks

I think beauty gets people things, and thus explaining why I don't get things. Okay, I guess I'm not all that bad since I get certain things.

And I feel so incapable of so many things, I had a fit when I tried to play the piano.
It's one thing to fail.
It's another to fail twice.
And I lack the confidence that I'll pass.

My mom says I have no fighting spirit.
I tell her I don't care cause I don't even like the things I'm doing.
Then she mentioned art, I said I wasn't good at it.
Even if I'm good, I'm not EXCEPTIONALLY good.
I think I ask too much of myself but at the same time, I don't.
Take for example, I jsut want to pass fairly well for maths/amaths/phy/chem and I don't, and I try.

Also, I'm very prideful.
Such as I want abit of dignity if such.
I think I mentioned something like this before.
But, I'd wished people saw me as someone with just a slight of potential.
Not someone who's just a laidback sloth.
I really try to work hard.
But I wished, I had something in me I don't have to try or work for and someone could see it sincerely.
I don't like to volunteer myself roles and yet I wished I had them.
It's like I don't want to be dependant and telling someone "oh, I wished I could be the - comm."
then the person knows what I want and volunteer me.
I'd rather, the person without me going up to them tells me "Oh! I'd really think you're suited for this and this."

Okay, it's partly my fault I don't attend it but afterall in the first place I was NOWHERE.

I like lamenting on things that I can correct but I feel no need to.