I just made effort to write crap, I feel like laughing and crying at the same time, my extremely stupid essay.

BLUE

I mean I would not use the word blue as a form of expression but since this essay’s title says blue, I guess I will just replace sad and unhappy with “blue”.
Why am I blue? Well, there are a couple lot of reasons right now to emphasize, I would not entirely say I’m blue, I would be blue, annoyed, frustrated, and jealous. I simply cannot understand how come I can never write as well as anyone. I do not write with delicate, fine, or exquisite language or words. My words and phrases are hardly ever artistic. I might never have the best of ideas when writing a story. I use straightforward terms. If I am sad, I do not really see the need to write, or type longwinded phrases such as this, “Intense melancholia swept the innards of his wretched soul”, I would prefer putting plain and simple such as, “I am unhappy now.”
Honestly speaking, I have not the faintest idea how I am going to continue this.
Oh yes, carrying on, well I think not because this would just make this essay a lot more draggy and longwinded as it already is.
Blue, whatever is blue? A colour? An emotion?(As I was “discussing” about earlier) Or what many might first think of when you say “blue”, the sky? So vast and open, so free and liberal, sometimes I think the only escape from the harsh reality of life is only there. However, wouldn’t that just be plain stupid and suicide? Why couldn’t the sky just be a real place of escape for everyone when they need it? I mean on our planet, wherever you go, problems are going to lie everywhere in your face, so what if your room is at its quietest? So what if you completed your last minute assignment for that monster teacher of yours. You are going to get more work, more burdens. More, work. I see no point in this worthless effort as I see for the above example about people over exaggerating about their emotions. The blue sky.

Oh my God, I hate this okay, I really have no idea how I am going to continue, everytime I think of the next word, I am going to break down, each time I find that utmost strength and time to think up the next word, I feel every bit demoralized and stupid, like I am engulfed in complete stupidity and bland ideas! Why me, why can’t I have that slightest common easy talent of writing, maybe I’m narrowminded, maybe I’m boring but I try so much harder than the rest but it’s gonna turn out like crap.
Is this “blue” enough, I think it’s more of the anger and frustration and confusion of why I have to go through so much more than others, maybe it’s me, but I honestly don’t think writing is that hard, everyone else makes it seem so easy, but I’m the only one who has trouble with this, I’m still stuck at the Primary Four level of writing, “The sky was dark, it was very windy, my hair swept across my face as I looked up in the sky.” My idea of “colourful” words are all stuck at such a low level sometimes I even wonder how I made it so far.
How come I cannot seem to grow up, to learn, to “go with the flow”, different as in, not a “freak”, not an outcast, but “slow”, I mean I cannot say I’m slow, I’m in the top class for pete’s sake! But I never ever do it well, my standard is lower than everyone else’s, I take so much more effort, it’s not fair at all! I try, I really do, I put in all I can. Some might say, it’s my single biased opinion and that I might not be trying as hard so tell me, if so, why do I feel as if I’ve been drained of ideas, I feel lethargic, I feel deranged from thinking up of those other 100000.. other ridiculous stories, unless I really did tried.
How is there to think of a wonderfully-plotted story with one little single stupid simple word. Well, surprisingly, I heard of some, one about a steward, who lost his entire family and just emphasizing about his daughter’s blue eyes, about in the end committing suicide after jumping off from the plane into the BLUE BLUE sky and “seeing” his daughter once again. How can such a wonderfully weaved story come out from just one word, “BLUE”. How is it that, out of the very high probability of me finding a good story to write about “Blue” did not appear to me?
I’ve reached my seventh hundred and ninety seventh word. I’m very appalled and amused I even got this far, still more about the “BLUE”.
I realized something that caught me of amusement, I started off writing “Blue” feeling blue which made me felt possibly more “blue” if I can make the word seem more versatile, oh, this paragraph would have made a great ending but I had to type it down now.
This essay is extremely, brain draining and energy draining. I’m actually writing something filled with so much emotion but yet so finely can be described as rubbish and worthless to read, however I will complete this.
I really really hate this, I am tired and sick to continue anymore because every word here is true and from what I feel now, and this is the first time ‘m actually writing basd on my emotions at that exact point of time, something so innocent and real but could be treated like dirt.
I’m not even sure if I’m even going to hand this up, because I will probably be talked to which would be severely embarrassing and thought-provoking.
I really never received this homework and had no complete idea of it at all but out of a slip of a tongue by a certain someone, I tried to stick to the rules and complete this, why am I being so honest? Because if I was not, I would have nothing else to write at all.

Once again, IS THIS “BLUE” enough??

Very very nice, I think my posts are very boring.
:(
School is starting, egad.

I haven't blogged in awhile, I think that I'm the only one who gets nightmare about periods.
Okay, a fast one cause I needa paint.
Some pics from japan which you've seen and some from sleepover :)
WHERE ARE THE ULTRA COOL PICS JULIA?!
















Oh yes, I might use flickr cause my cousin insists so I can compile the pictures I take and create a portfolio, so fun woohoo.
I hate xmas, I dont think Im going to church anymore.

sleepover

Okay, I came bakc at 9 plus after a movie at wth VIVO with my camp group :)
We watched National Treasure, it was okay I guess, I don't really like thrilling movies, not very thrilling though.

I'm angry cause my dad only cares about grades and science and gives me things only if I do them well.
I mean he can be nice but when he's frustrating, all his niceness cannot overshadow it.
I wished he bought me stuff and shop with me and give me money cause he's nice not because of "oh, every one maths question you do, ou get 1 buck."
I mean it's a pretty good deal but still.
I don't want that much, just for him to understand that I like art and I dowand to grow up doing somthing ivolving maths though it's basic foundation, yes I know but buy me a camera, pay for my brushes, get me photoshop, okay that's alot, but at least something that I enjoy doing and something that I want to grow up to become. :(
Anyway Japan pics! :)





ANOTHER DAY :)

OMG, this is fucking awesome.
Anyone who has the dvd, pls do lend it to me :)
I don't know, I mean I don't like common animes like big eyes and all, but one with a different style.
Japanese films can be almost boring but it has so much content that I can't even digest it but it's so cool, I mean I watched spirited away and another one, I can't remeber the name but I was so intrigued by it, okay forget it.
Off to paint.

Hey all you freaks out there :)
I'm in the airport in the lounge, itsso cool, I didn't know it existed.
WOW.
Still in shock.
alright, we're like passing the com around cause there's like only 3.
This is stupid.
Cheerios!

I look ultra terrible with my "once-again-stupid-face" that was sps to look tired.
Left to right(SINAI):
Ray(Ah Beng), Nathaniel(Leader[always has at least 2 servings of every meal]), Gwen(Asst. Leader), Clara, Nicole, Jocelyn, Nat(alie)[Newly made friend I made]
Jingwen and Grace Chan weren't present in the picture.
I just realised I typed "Newly made friend I made"

The camo was quite disappointing, it was raining severely on the first day so we had no games at all, and I bathed only twice, for three nights I slept on the floor which probably had physical contact with centipede, caterpillars, lizards, cockroaches.

I didn't made much friends besides, Natalie and this pair of twins called Xu something and Xu something. They have telephathy.
And I found a talent, I can talk to animals, really, centipedes.
I got it out of the room just by talking to him :O
hahah.
Quite random lah.
I felt so lonely, with hardly any friends to hand around, irritated by a member who whines like anything, had stomachache and didn't felt God's presence.
Unproductive and I'm thinking I never exactly have good camps besides the Ohana one.

In a few hours I'm gonna fly off to Japan and I haven'e packed yet, where's my sense of urgency, see ya

I dono why but I went to make myself upset by thinking about sutff.


I dont really wanna bring it up but by doing this, I kinda am, but otherwise, I was thinking, I hate being a girl.

Like I was talking to A about through the phone, girls bitch and cause their own"downfall", I rather a physical fight that will be able to leave scars that can be removable but inner ones will never heal completely, it's tucked there in the nightmare compartment of your brain and it will never go away.

I read some stuff and thought, when you say what you say when your angry, you think you really really mean it but you dont and no matter how much you or the person knows it was all in a fit of anger, it still hurts when the one being talked about knows you thought of her at least once that way and who doesn't wanna be perfect?

-

Moving on to happier things,

I've finished painting my flag alrd and 1 and a half canvases are completed.
B)

Smellyfaced's interpretation of a model.

fred the frog(halfway done)
silly the snake

flag
flag
moustache cup from an antique shop, unclear, its quite funny. they gave a little space to support the moustache. B)

WE OWN YOU!

Ew, gdnight y'all.

It's so unfair, it's always unfair, cause she always has it all.
Y'know what is it like to be tired being someone's friend?
When she has all the things you want that you don't have, when you feel pressured when you're with her.
Looks, money, friends.
I'm so annoyed with her when it's not even her fault.
I shouldn't be right.
Contentment, we discussed about it but I can't help it.
They say everybody has different things that others don't have, but I don't see how I have something she doesn't have.
maybe I do, but all the things I have that she doesn't is still lesser than the things she has which I don't.
I mean yeah, I have loads of other friends who have more stuff than me, but they never make me feel as though I'm inferior, am I biased or its cause I feel differently with different ppl.
I don't even feel like going camp now.
I will be better I will be.

I start off with "HELLO" very often I realised.
I went to cut my hair just now, not the best. in fact, my fringe sucks.
It will grow anyway so it's all about patience.
I'm anaemic, no wonder I feel faint so often, I need to eat more and pratice drawing shaker.

See Ya.

Wth, she's so attention-seeking too and yet she speaks of others, okay no one you think in particular, but she likes talking bad about others when she reflects them.

Alright, that's enough moving on to happier things, I painted the backgrounds of the 12 canvases alrd so pictures coming urrpppp!
Whoopee!

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	Very High
Sloth:	Very High
Envy:	Very High
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Very High

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

I didn't know I sin so much.

I've seen many cute stuff lately so I'm gna post them up and let them work their magic by putting a smile on your faces.
B)

cherine


wen wen


evan


chicken wing/smellyface

I'm so pissed cause I placed so much effort in making a header(banner) that doesnt work cause my resization is off like !@#$ and also somewhat my blogger account has a problem with uploading images for the header under computer.

Cheer up cheer up cause I look so good in this picture.

12 canvases to paint, I can do it.

HELLO!
Tricia's mouse gave birth! :D
None of my business really but there's 8 puny naked things involved and the female was with the male for only 5 mins, still I'm going to T's house on sat to see them, stoked.
cheerios!

HELLO, today was terribly exciting and before I head on to why, I might sound like a totally sissy girly sass so don't mind me, I SAW THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE WORLD, okay maybe not but at least it was face to face B)

Okay, I'll post it using blogger's uploader so you can click on to it so it will enlarge woohoo.

Mm, I went for my cousin's second wedding dinner, hahaha, only 5 tables but it was quite fun cause we had our own room.

Oh yeah, I'm in youtube now entertaining myself with hairdos videos like dreadlocks, cornrows, curling of hair, fishtail braids, so, you can pay me to help you do!

Okay?




He's not the long hair one btw.



cabbage patch baby!


smellyfaced




"They're related." "No wonder."

Because I'm lazy to on the dvd recorder and wake up my dad to accompaany me as I watch korean shows, I'm gna talk about what has happen this yr, HAHAHHAHAAHAH, okay, I bet your all gna change webpage.

Start of the year, I was with D and all, and cause there was no one else in class, i hung out with them(nearly typed hanged), they're a buncha nice people, the nicest and pleasentest but for a barbaric person like me, I guess "clicking" is quite important when you make friends, well, I couldn't "click" with them, then I kinda turned back to T C G M J A yes, and well we're a bucnha happy fools making a fool of ourselves in public, rather, me but since they're with me, I wouldn't just keep the embarrassment to myself right? SHARE!

B)

And then woah, life gets on real fast, I gta catchup with it.









you get a peek up my nose

Hello, after 3 days of not using the computer, my facebook can upload ugly pictures of me and.... PHOTOBUCKET WORKS!! :D
I hope it's not gna be temporary though, anyway, I'm quite upset firstly cause I haven't been going out lately and when I was suppose to, ugh, I didn't thanks to a life-ruiner.
But otherwise, I have been watching KOREAN SHOWS, I'm quite sappy watching cliche meaningless predictable korean shows but I mean I feel so happy, I like happy endings, I think they give the most stupid shows a point to watch.
Okay, I've done 20 questions for maths homework.
WOOHOO, and I have another dinner to go to.
Anyway, otherwise my life has so far been pointless, this is probably an immature thinking but if I don't go out, I feel like life is meaningless.
Maybe it's cause of the boredom and this post is probably gna be pointless too, there's just so much I wanna say that it's all coming out in a messy clump and since I can't phrase properly, too bad.

I woke up at 2 plus today, watched korean show, ate, went to my aunt's house, watched ghost whisperer's finale and typing this now, I need to defragmentise my computer otherwise a whole lot of problem will come up again.

I'm pretty minus my scars only, I'm fine with being flat, at least without my scars, I'd probably be a pretty boy.
I'm pretty whether shot or not.

-

I wanna learn the cello.

I can't stand this nonsense, it might even be worse than not having a computer, but my computer? internet? is screwed up, anything that has to do with the uploading of pictures are screwed, photobucket, friendster and facebook.
And i waste my time figuring the problem out which i can take 2 hrs plus too but never solve it, and waste my fucking time.
I don't really like being all religious in my blog and I even wanted to type a little prayer but i guess I'll be doing it personally.
Ugh, I've been using that word alot lately.
hah

I couldn't help it, she's the most photogenic.



He's handsome, I'm apalled.

Create myspace graphic with Gickr

I'm the unglammest girl I know in my life and is not afraid to show it, Jowell laughed at me ytd, not knowing I knew.

Photobucket isn't working.

UUUUUGGGGGHHHH


I'm so ugly EWWWWWWWW

"Ugh, UGHHHH, first of all, my computer is screwed, my shirt has oil stains thanks to my sis, and my button is lost.
Emphasis- MY BUTTON.
Alright, this sounds very minor but the entire thing was very frustrating.

I was in the car last night, and my money dropped, so as I was searching for it, my shorts got hooked onto the baby sit and the button flew off.
So I flew into a rage and yelled at everyone cause I was about to go to church.
Anyway, only just now, me and my mom and MY SIS went to the car to look for it, after looking for it for 10 mins, my sis spoke up, "button? oh button? jiejie's one? Fly out of the car, jiejie was finding her money then suddenly got PRIAK sound and the button fly out of the window!"
I was in a daze okay, she's so .. TERRIBLE!
Okay, lousy description but as I was telling my dad what happened and I went to her and said, "sarah.. You're sooo..." "terrible?" "YEAH!" -laughter.

My sister is frustrating and somwhat her cuteness makes up for it all.
Ah cheerios."

I wanted to post this just now before my internet broke down.

And I think I do smarter stuff at 3 am in the night, see!

"Okay, so the rain is pouring non-stop,
the thunder roaring to the beat of pop.
Then I feel inspired, I wanna write a poem,
but I feel two,
liberal and mayhem.
I suddenly see myself in a forest,
those in fairytales,
the leaves and grass, their greenest.
I roam around freely,
prancing around merrily.
I'm in a dress,
I feel no need for rests.
This part, the liberal.
Mayhem, it's terrible,
Roads are jammed, the girl's crying,
Her mom's dying.
A carcrash that took place,
stole her mother's face
of warmth, security,
that girl will never see,
ever again,
she cries her heart fills with grief, pain.
I rub my eyes,
My feet cold as ice.
I look around,
I look at the ground,
out in the balcony,
I breathe silently,
I smiled,
safe in my home,
under the shelter."

what i think like 2 guys in a day just said forget it to me when i didn't get something they said.

okay since I can't get pictures, here's an extremely cool video :D

Gickr ain't working for me, I'm extremely unhappy.
I still can't find a ruler and I stayed up till 2 plus last night to edit ugly pictures so I could get a chance to play around with photoshop. teehee.

I'm pretty fed up cause i took so much effort finding and uploading my pics so I could upload it in gickr and make funny animations and it does'nt work.
UGH.


While we wait, I'm gonna letcha in something okay.
I think I've an alter ego somewhat and I think that alter ego is Paris Hilton or some playgirl or something, gosh, I know I'm not as pretty or even pretty okay, in fact many assume I'm a guy but in my dreams, I'm kissing random boys for diversions and they end up good.(Too much info :X )

I've just finished watching Disturbia and it was AWESOME.
I think I told lotsa you guys that Shia LeBeouf's name means thank god for beef but for emphasis, he's not only hot but cute.
WOOHOO.
My brother is currently reading this, he is slapping me now.

Something is up with photobucket too, so by one hr and the thing hasn't been loaded, sorry no pics! ):

I. CANNOT. FIND. MY. PHONE. WIRE.
I wanted to upload pics but as the above states the reason.
Tricia's cousin gave me a mice, and Tricia helped by asking,
WOOHOO, okay, this is gonna be so much fun, picking them up by the tail and swirling them around and around.
HAHAHAHAH.

okay, I'll find pics, just you wait.


thing to look foward to, DEVELOPING FILM, and I'm getting a new roll, might organise photoshoot! WHO WANT? raise your hands! I'm inspired.
Just do everything, get over and donee, live life to the fullest, okay, must be because I lost something that I just dont feel that great and great at the same time

Okay, Julia reminded me how much I love cameras and oversaturated pictures.
For a starter, I want a lomo camera!
Please? :(



this is fucking amazing.

Okay, uhm.
I forgot lotsa things I wanna say.

Toorah!

What the fuck, my cousin is one of the top 20 artists in singapore.
I know I keep talking abouthim like a desperate, cause I'm proud of him.
He's so bloody talented I don't think I can ever be better than him.

Alright, I will practise real hard and I'll post them up teehee.






2 of tim burton's work, this guy's is really good.
I don't really like his shos but the animation is hell awesome.

http://crimsonstate.blogspot.com/
v
v
v
Another artist's works







Ugh, I'm getting tired, that's enough sharing.
See Ya again.

Vienna Boys and Terra naomi

Okay, just so you know, the new hit and thing and person is TERRA NAOMI okay, so check her out.
She's really awesome and talented, check out her song, Not Sorry


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1JKVxiKoZc(just in case the video doesn't work

-

I went to watch Vienna Boys just now!
They're really cute and talented too.
During the concert, there was an instance where a small boy had to shake a shaker? He shook it the second time there was no sound(giggles) he shook it the third time, and it flew out of his hands! (laughter)
But it was really worth the money and all, at least I think so.
The esplanade was full house alright.
Woah, I can never think of a time when someone says, PL choir? Oh the world famous one?

See Yall

Funny stuff

I got funny things to say.

Firstly, today I went heather's house and she showed me this girl's blog.
It was in perfectly spelt words, okay maybe not but the words were spelt fully, take for eg. gg= going
Below will be a post taken from her blog

You will die from laughter okay, maybe not but otherwise, yes.

thanks for the chocolate you give me
i really love it alot alot. i know is expensive.
dont waste money on it already okay?
iloveyou. thanks gor treating me so good even thought i always attitude you. day by day ; it became nearer and nearer to the day we apart.
sorry for the answer i give you.
but being apart, it good for you.
i dont want you ruin your future. and i know what you will choose.
i am just a normal girl that you can find anywhere.
trust me , you can find a better ones.
thanks for everything you give me. i will miss you badly as you know.
move on alright? takecare.
after 2months , 28dec2007. you have to tc yourself le.

The second stuff would be The Noose, it's really a brilliant production I must say, one of the best local production

One scene was about maid abuse and it was really hilarious.

".....she bery poor thing, she make flower and many tea until 3 am then wake up 5 am, make ceral for bouy bouy, but the employer no good, don't give her eat, so she eat bouy bouy cereal, then the employer go cut her and put iron on her face, then she not happy then go to the SPCA."

Okay, maid abuse is not funny alright.



Cheerios.

Okay, I watched the model life last night, julia says it's boring but well, it's high fashion lah, so yes, I love abigail!
She has AGYNESS DEYN's smile!
okay okay, later I upload pics, if I have the time.
I realise I can't survive one day without life with derek, I'm so obsessed, it's scaring me.
I've never had a huge crush on a celebrity before and that means he has to be that HOT.
I am no despo okay.




Just cant get enough eh? heh.



I think there's an inner dormant bitch and spoilt brat in me which is otherwise in control but yeah.

Back to topic the model life has prettier but more sterotypical looking models which my narrowminded part of my brain likes alot, I mean you watch antm, the models don't look very model like, I mean you don't really see them and think VOGUE, but yes the show is so much better and bitchier :)









Okay, you find their names out yourself, too lazy to intro.
But my opinions are
Abigail: Favourite, 16?!
Angelika: Indie
Beatrice: 16?!
Michelle: Pauper looking
Lucia: Model look, stunning
Valerie: Boring

Cheerios.

My computer doesn't have microsoft word for some strange reason, I seem to figure stuff on the computer after 1000000000... mins which is like common sense to others, I'm unhappy.
Anyway, I decided to use something efficient that I know is late for me to find out but eitherways, it's...........
PHOTOBUCKET!! -cheers-

Smelly Sarah









and I will talk as I haven't been posting regularly as I wait for the photos to load.
I realised I'm somewhat a perfectionist, GASPS!
Because I cannot stnad the smallest of problems on my computer.
Examples I'm going to state might just make you puke from sheer disgustment of my queer nature.
1. I can't stand that when upon using msn, and someone gives you a link and you click on it, you go direct to netscape which is no longer in use anymore, due to some undefault stuff

2. When my msn windows was open up and when i click on other sites, it wouldn't show cause it's behind the msn windows, if you get it.

3. The error report that keeps popping out everytime I on the computer, some CAPI error.

4. The computer hanging or lagging, I used to think my computer at the speed was fast. Until you keep using it and using it and realising it's not.

5. Not knowing all the little basics on the computer, examples include, powerpoint, photoshop.. HTML, oh that causes me to fizzle dizzle and explode.

12% more to go..

I will find a job by tmr, I will find a job by tmr.
I will earn enough money for a dslr.
I will put on weight, I will shop till I'm satisfied(laughs at that sentence in amusement)
I will break my habit of cracking my finger toe ankle knee neck wrist habit.
I will also break my habit of touching my hair.
I will be productive.
I will pack my table at the least.
I will sell the stuff I don't want.
I will try to do all the above.
Somehow I just let off steam and somewhat got it back when I saw what I just typed.
I got so many problems, so many minor ones, causing such a huge impact in my life, not really but pulling me down.
ARGH.
wishy washy.








ELLISTOR!!















More pictures coming ina few mins, not like you have to wait, they're all rubbish but for the sake of memories, I guess patience counts.


Magazines you should read are,

COMPUTER ARTS

VOGUE

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

PRACTICAL PHOTOGRAPHY

CREATING KEEPSAKES

Play

...



Trivia.

I dont listen to the radio
I like Jazz
I like photography
I dont see anything wrong with artistic nudity(there's a fine line between it and pornography)
I brush my teeth when i'm stressed
I wished I were a guy
I believe growing hair takes patience
I decided my drum instructor is quite cool and his mindset that everything should be in plural.
I like my back
I love my hamster alot
This is bullshit, I can't think.


this are all rather random
















I look unglam in every picture I appear in, betcha can't beat that.



CHEERIOS.
Gdnight y'all