okay, i deleted the prev. post cause i decided i had too many typos to edit.
also, i sounded like my eng. was terrible which it is NOT and that i was immature.

alright, not typing in capitals cause i'm too lazy.
my birthday was lousy like i've whined for the upteemth time.
i spent the entire shit day painting shirts for the fair and i had no bday cake or celebration.

argh.

its like you had to give up someone so important to you because its wrong, and you try out something else, and still ending up getting disapointed.
I guess i'm just not how they want it.

liar liar pants on fire

YEAH YOU, okay.
How can one become a pathological liar.
Okay, habit, like cracking knuckles but it's so scary.
I mean lying not cracking knuckles but eitherways it's still as bad.

Yes, I mean it's really scary cause you don't really know when to be doubtful about the person.
Doesn't the person find it very tiring?
I mean to make up this totally ridiculous stories and try to cover it up or put so much effort in to make it seem real.
It's such a waste of time huh?
And I mean, maybe you might say, oh to win you're friends respect or like help yourself give ever exhilirating topics to discuss about with your friends but is it worth it if they find out.
You lose your dignity, your social what's that word, circle? your respect in ppl.
Is it really worth it?

And, ppl just kinda know it no matter how well covered up it is.
Is there a joy? Sense of satisfaction? Excitement?
I think it's for the thrill of it.
I mean once you start you can't stop.
For example it's a big lie, a REAL BIG one okay, and at first before anyone knows, they are wowed by, you. You love he attention, then, they start doubting you, you're afraid of losing that sense of popularity, you lie to cover up and the cycle repeats itself, it's really mind blowing.

I think it's stupid, even though how big the lie is, how much respect you lose, it will patch up one day then just living a world filled with lies, deceiving and falsefulness right?

Nothing much t add anymore, leave comments on this one.

I need things to do, I don't know how someone can survive without doing anything.
When I grow up, I'll make sure I'll always have something.
And by making sure, I wanna have lessons t learn different things, a big house with equipment to do the things I want, there, I feel better already.

Sometimes I feel really tired.
I mean I try so hard getting things I want and I never get it.
It's like running and running just to get an object.
pretty pointless isn't it?
But really, I mean won't you feel incomplete.
I mean you'll never actually feel complete but at least you get what you want.
And then I keep envying thouse who seem to jsut have about everything.
You say that no one can have everything, but the just seem to do about just that, from money to friends to freedom.
All the little details.
I mean I do wish I could have whatever I want even a skill but I just can't seem to.
And I feel fucking tired.
I feel like it pointless but I just need to have it.
I mean there are so many things in my life besides this that make me feel tired.
What?
Friends, I mean it's not the close ones.
Just those where you hang out with and you feel tired just being with them. Feeling so conscious cause you don't know how they feel about you, okay that's about almost everyone but there are some particular ones like for example she asks you something and you don't want to do it, she demandds and you know if you don't you're gna be up for some ear bandage.
I mean if it's those closer friends, you won't mind helping out, maybe it's biased but I mean don't you think friends too need chemistry just to be really close?
I don't think I can ever have a friend that you can say 'be there all the time for you'.
What crap is this.
I mean not that I'm referring to anybody but the point is, is there really one?
Okay. Maybe God, but besides Him, I mean I have to say I don't even have a strong faith in him.
I can't find comfort in Him all the time.
When I feel empty or lonely and seek him, I still feel the same, like I need a human being.
Someone I can touch feel, hear.
I mean will there be someone that you don't feel bad doing all the stupid stuff to him or her, being annoying and fucking irritating and they just don't get annoyed.
My expectations are ridiculous right?
But I mean, you really won't find a friend you can feel totally comfortable with what.
I feel nostalgic.
I keep reminiscing the past, being so stupid and blur thinking the world was great, nothing to care about dancing in the rain naked and not feeling self conscious.
How come we can't grow up like kids, so unknowlegeable yet mature.
Not feeling insecure about yourself yet be self aware.
I don't like growing up.
I feel like I'm competeing against time.
Like I need to know photoshop before everyone does, this are little stuffs but I don't know even p3 kids are learning it and I'm lost about it.
Getting better at art cause I do wanna be int e arts industry.
I mean I wouldn't wanna be pro at 80 and expect myself to be in the artist's world right?

I shouldn't be thinking so mucha and typing random chunks stuck tgt without paragraphs.

Okay, my blog's dead.

Grown ups: Who do they think they are?

No really, who do THEY think they are.
I mean I don't despise them in general, is that the correct term? Despise?
But I have some really good examples like my uncle.
Call himself a worthy christian? Reaching out to others?
Okay, there is no bad or good christian, I won't mess up your mind but he MOCKS me. He really does.
Call it joking? It's NOT the least funny, at all.
I was beatboxing and he started laughing like what? in a mocking way, what other terms are there?
He was like,(filled to the brim with sarcasm)"Oh, if you cont. doing that, I'm sure one day you'll turn disfigured, your mouth all big and saggy."
I told my cousin about it and he said something extremely nice, "Aiya, who cares, he will die before you. " :D
I think I'm really bad but this ppl just gets on my nerve, or rather, into my nerve.

Also, once, during dinner in a restaurant, I wasn't exactly sitting like a punk or what. Moreever, no one noticed I was messaging whilst I ate(what's wrong with that anyway?), he exclaimed really loudly not only embarrass me but my mom,"You know, you should take up ballroom dancing, you see my teacher walks around with so much poise and sophistication. She's so graceful unlike those skimpy girls walking around like a tramp(he paused) like a whore. You know, you should take up dancing lest you turn out like them."
I tell you, I just gritted my teeth and smiled like an idiot at him.
I'm not even swearing, WOW, look at my tolerance.
Do I care, I mean, if I don't care sitting like a whore, why should you??!
Moreever, I wasn't. HAHAHA, all my siblings despise him okay, especially my sis, I mena he scolded her when she was only 1 and oblivious to wha she was doing.
I'm not gna turn out all gay and arrogant like him, or even infertile.
Please, I'm gna sound damn mean, but since you can't even bear a child, why splurge so much on a bloody 4 storey semi d, bloody stupid.

Okay, this next person is gna be short and I won't disclose his name or talk too much, it's a friend's dad.
I hate him hate him hate him.
I mean he never liked me since I was young, picking on me, scolding me when I shriek cuase he's children come scaring with ghost stories.
And he's really biased, ew, my sister loves him to nuts.
But he treats me like dirt.
He makes me seem little, and leave me out of stuff.
Of all his friends' kids, he likes me the least, or rather I'm the only one he dislikes.
No, I have no problem, I'm not a problem child.

Finally, OMFG, today today TODAY, guess what, bloody hell Mrs !@#$ didn't want us to order our informal picture cause we held up "SEXYBACK".
This sounds fucking stupid right?
I mean, what the hell, it is.
She didn't mutter a single word of complain or hesitation but once we got the pics, and some teachers, were supposedly apalled, she felt embarrassed and refused to let us buy it, saying what? "SEXY" ain't no good word, reflecting us as a bad image?!
HUH, what cock is this, I mean.
HUH, she said, what if we drop it, parents see it....etc.
This is total BULLSHIT.
I mean WHA?!
And she said she would photoshop or ULTIMATE, cut off our faces from the picture.
I can't get pver the fact, she's so selfish, tell her colleagues she's fine with it, I mean, don't you have your own mind.
She's a bloody GROWN UP, she should be more mature and hold the blame.
We kids have no idea what's happening in the world, cept that "sexy" ain't no bad word.
"SEXY" doesn't neccessarily means naked meaning slut meaning bad.
I mean can't she have a more open mind?
It's all about bloody perception.

This sounds damn random, but adults say oh, do what you want, you experience, bear the conseqeunce, too bad lor, told you so.
But we won't make the same mistakes you guys did okay.
history doesn't repeat itself, especially for you to find and excuse to push blames on us.

We aren't stupid.
You think we are.
Protecting us, or rather, imprisoning us won't get you or us anywhere, idiots.

Bloody grownups, who do they think they are sucking our life out.

K530i

I got a new phone today, and I kinda miss my old one alot.
Anyway, I somehow screwed the new one up a bit today, my heart really aches right now, but whatever my mom's gonna call sony tmr :)

And ytd was quite fun baking with t anc c.
actually, did we even bake? I remembered only peeling the potatoes. oh, cheryl made me drink tomato paste. PURE. CONCENTRATED. PULPISH. SOUR. RED stuff. for 8 bucks.
But since I couldn't finish it, or rather, drank only 1/3, kinda wasted feeling all pukey.

Okay, see ya.

I feel disgusted, not like sick in the stomach but annoyed and disgusted with this facilitator of mine last yr from my sec 1 camp.
I mean he's REALLY annoying, he added me on msn, and many other friends of mine. I remembered deleting his contact but after like 10000000yrs, he said "hi", well maybe he's nice but doesn't he get the fucking deal.
He's hell annoying.

Anyway, hahaha. Chinatown trip today was the coolest I ever had, we were fooling around with chilli cause I was afraid and grace didnt bothered to ask the aunty to "bao" chilli for us. This sounds bloody stupid lah. hahhaha, everyyboydy said I was too tense with the chilli, no lah, I just wanted it to be safe in the white stuff. sound like semen, okay, shuddup.

I'm bored, should I close my blog? nothing to write, I wanted to post my paintings but never actually getting round to it, to lazy and not gd with the computer.
Yes, I've mentioned that a thrillion times.

see ya losers

for H
ryan said i had a face to shoot

absolutely ridiculous, its sps to resemble the pic ontop

I like my friends alot, I mean I'd always did but I suddenly had this really really longing? urge to express it.

Okay, maybe casue today I had a bad fall thats why.

Hahaha, it was quite stupid actually, cause we were at the park and I went infornt prancing about, left to right. Like jumping like an asshole. Then I saw ants and jerked really fast to my left and turned behind at the same time wanting to laugh and tell them about the ants cause they were HUGE.

Okay, point is, somehow I slipped and I started laughing really hard.

And I think the first think I said was, "Eeeeeee, got scar later. :("

Sound like a stupid bimbo okay.

Then everyone said they would get me scar cream for my bday, I dowand, I want fedoras! :D

more another day, MIAMI INK!

HELLO!

Ryan cut his hair, not bad, shaven sides that i recommended was another form of crew cut.
He had his first pimple.
I realised how cool facebk is :)
hahah, all of you should join lah.
I think I will post pictures of the pictures in julia's blog of the pictures we took in vivo tmr?
yeah.

Oh yes, Zoo outing tmr, cant wait, really. I cant :)

-
How would you feel watching someone so helpless yet, you can't do anything about it.

-
Quiz to simmer myself down, I'm not that vulgar, quite nice actually.

1) List out top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:
-unlimited money=(able to buy clothes and art stuff)
-that hat
-a brain like albert einstein
-some bastards to hang out with :)
-DSLR!!(canon 400D/ nikon d40x/d50)

2) The person who tagged you is?
Cheryl Seah


3) Your relationship with her/him?
We had a great one night stand, HAH, no she's my really smart and spastic friend. :)

4) Your 5 impressions of him/her?
-bossy
-funny/HILARIOUS
-great skin minus the face for this year :P haha no lah
-leadership qualities
-smart until its so gross

5) The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
can't think of anything, oh yeah, she pulled down my shorts along with julia during last yr's napfa

6) The most memorable words he/she has said to you?
no I can only remember the death stare she gives

7) If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
get her all the clothes she needs

8) If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
ignore her? I dono. The usual I guess.

9) If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
she drove me over the edge

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is?
get her clothes

11) Your overall impression of him/her is?
needs clothes


12) How you think people around you will feel about you?
really annoying? self degrading? fickle? argh all the bad stuff

13) The character you love yourself are?
cant think of anything, just received an sms and I feel like a self centered jerk

14) On the contrary, what are the characters of yourself you hate?
almost everything

15) The most ideal person you want to be is?
like alberto cerriteno, sucha genius, or like jesus.

lazy to do the rest, I'm feeling awful. ugh, maybe I should've gone.

Spent 5 hrs in vivo today. It was really meaningless, I didn't shop. No mood. Ugh. I mean I feel annoyed I had no mood, there was so many pretty stuffs. Rather disappointed with my timing.

Alright, I can't wait to paint for heather. I ought to take pictures of the artwork that I'm giving away, most of them are really nice ): Kinda heart pain, it's like marrying off your daughter ):

Photos will come in 1000000000 yrs, until julia sends them to me :)

The ONE THING I HATE MOST about ppl saying about me is calling me a fake or saying I that I "act". It's alright that you might call me a bitch or what, okay, no it's not okay but that's how I seem as being myself, but yes maybe calling me a fake is hwo I might potray myself, but it's almost the same as saying something I put so much pain and effort into eg, paint and saying it's not my idea. What's the point of just living the way you are? What do you expect me to do, behave like a freak? Will you then be pleased?

I hate many many other things too alright. I wanted to type some but I forgot. Pray I don't or you would have to hear it and I would just be wasting effort typing.

Anyway I went to Art Friend, made me really happy. I feel more secure, somehow.

I was just thinking, kinda of an old question to ask but why don't ppl like others looking at them typing their post even though tha post is going to be seen later.

ARGH, there's some anger in me trapped, the ones that I forgot that anger me. Somehow it wanna come out but it cant find a way.

Watching Identity now, it's really mind-boggling how ppl make stupid game shows so compelling. I think it's genius. Heehee :)

No point caring. I mean I'm totally insignificant to her.

I found really happy sweet shots in my aunt's com.

I'm freaking in love with this song! :)
It's like one of those things that just makes you smile in the worst
of mood.

Okay, ytd was teacher's day celebrations, quite cool actually, the performances(I actually didn't sleep) Well, T and I were so excited to pass Ms Audrey the painting, so when we managed to pass it to her, she only said, "Oh thanks dear." I was REALLY DISAPPOINTED since I placed much effort painting for her, and she was the only teacher receiving a present from us.

Well, then headed off the the pri school. We went there and got scolded by the principal. I mean it's rather ironic don't you think? We were suppose to be greeted happily by the teachers who haven't met us but instead scolded by not just anyone but the principal.

Caught up with a few teacher, was ratehr bored though although we met Mrs Tan, she's really thin still, even after giving birth after 4 mths? Her baby's really happy, she showed us the pictures :) He's called Marc.

Afterwards, G, C and I went to meet Xinjie in PS, she changed ALOT.
Caught Ratatouille, the animation was awesome, I don't relaly like animation but that was an exception, like C said, for an animation, it actually made the food seemed so real and tasty.
Also, I wanted to watch finish the credits cause the illustrations were brilliant besides the Unfortunate Events 's one but all of them wanted to leave so I didn't wanna hold them up.
Nice eh?

Oh yes, don't exactly goign to PS, because somehow I don't really like seeing ppl I know there. I feel awkward and all I mean seeing juniors you dislike then seeing seniors that might dislike you. I'm not trying to prejudice but I mean if you feel like that.. You'd get it, somehow.

Ah, was reading through some stuff and I'm feeling really kek sim(heart pain) to realised I was so bloody close to someone and yet so far. Eeyer, sounds so cliche but how am I sps to phrase it in another way?

-
Today was rather good, I went to the red dot museum, they wer having a portrait day, really cool. I was there with my family so i felt awkward. OH she's just acting cool really, but I mean you just feel different in different places with different ppl. You know where some places you feel more comfartable with your friends and others with your family.
Anyway, my dad was being annoying pointing at everything from cameras to paintings gasping, "Oh thats a design!" And my mom was really interested making herself say stuff that meant something but to others well, nonunderstandable? I don't want to sound mean really, I really love them but there are times where they get a little annoying.
So the place was cool, and they had a bar. Then I went to comex and then to church. Nothing much.

See ya